i start work tomorrow mornting
i wish i were in nueva york
back to the drawing board(literally)
FUCK YO DICK!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
|i'm on a country music kick|
and its kicking my ass right back.
i don't like being in jacksonville
as shitty as the year was in chicago i didnt feel half as depressed as i do when i'm in florida.
couple more months.
i hope i get to see reena before april.
HOPE HOPE HOPE
i'm losing my mind.
which means its beard growing time
a nice clean PUSHY
Monday, November 17, 2008
|drunk post. but seriously|
the biggest mistake i ever made was letting her go.
i don't care about the past.
shes a good girl.
next time. i'll use a ring.
i want to marry her,
i dont care what anyone thinks. i love her more than life.
i don't have as much fun without her,
Thursday, November 13, 2008
|i opend my webstore today.|
now my goal is to promote promote promote
i like the shirts i've got so far.
i'm thinking about remaking some old ones
like the flightless birds
and the very first design
all on different colors with different inks
i'm also in the looks for a sewing machine
i need to create wallets
i'm so excited
almost as excited as i am for next month!!!!
my darling will be here
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
|can't get her out of my head|
just a couple more weeks and i can have a little bit of time with her.
need to start that job quick.
also need to stop putting off going to the bank
because that is a necesity
i finished two 12x12 paintings today......they turned out really good
i'm happy with them
god dammit i wish she were here right now.
my bed is lonely
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
its all just time.
slipping through my fingertips
for the first time in my life i feel satisfied.
i'm working hard everyday to get myself where i need to be.
with little to no distractions in florida
its very easy to focus.
i've started on my journey of making jewelry.
we'll see how it shapes up.
like all my endeavors its riddled with trial and error.
but like all things
i shall conquer it
Saturday, November 8, 2008
|being born in the wrong generation is beguiling.|
often things are said like "oh you have such an old soul"
i just hate the way society is.
you talk to people that were teens in the 50's and it seemed much more structured and people were less of assholes.
everything was better generations ago.
girls were less pretentious
and didnt dress like hookers
i just hate this generation...and moreso the generation after mine.
its a downhill plumet.
my generation has everything to proove and has to be the first to discover everything. hipster fuckers that only know how to drink fuck and do drugs. keeping record in pictures of the stupid things they do. this generation stands for nothing and doesn't give a shit about one another. its disheartening. we're an oversexed generation of american idiots. raised on television and video games.
it makes me sick to see all these kids doing nothing. getting there degrees in all ranges of things. Wasting the degree to work at a call center.
we're a generation that doesn't know how to not live off of mommy and daddy. its rediculous. i'm fed up with everyone and i just want to live like a hermit.
but what i will actually do is stand behind my politics and my opinions and i will try to spark change in peoples hearts and minds. it only takes one person that stands or something to change a generation.
we'll see what happens.
i'm sure those that read this will say "you seem as apathetic and rediculous as the rest of the generation" .
i never said i wasn't
but i'm trying to change it.
and i actually give a fuck about people......
Friday, November 7, 2008
|i'm about to cast a level seven eat spell on some boca chicken.|
waiting for the ASTL rom WFM to call and let me know whats up.
i need another full throttle.
and get throttled
my friend karl from partybots has one of his shirts in a doritos commercial.
good job to him.
the possibilities for art these days are limitless.
and i'm excited for the potential that is to come.
DUSH that shit
Thursday, November 6, 2008
had some technical difficulties with some screens today.
bought a camera.
found an awesome band
alaska in winter.
i drank a big ass fullthrottle today and it fucked me up. i was wired for a while. good deal.
then i crashed.
oh how i crashed.
i felt like i was coming down from a binge of alcohol and sedatives.
it was intense.
usually energy drinks have no effect, but i believe it was the amount of drink that i partook in that intensed my life.
that was my day.
i'm accomplishing alot since i moved back. super stoked. theres lots of things missing, but the most important thing is oing art and getting it out there. right now nothing else matters.
not getting laid, not doing drugs not drinking, not bikes ,not girls, not clubs or friends.
the most imortant thing to me right now is my art. i know it sounds assholish but its how it has to be.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
|I've been on the web for too long.|
lurking and looking at pictures.
next time i attempt to grow hair...someone should slap me.........that and next time i gain 40 pounds.
pictures are fun to look at.
in other news
today was shit
coming home to your dog you've had for almost 14 years laying stuck on her side not being able to move....is not awesome.
we had to put her to sleep.
and i had to carry her in a towel to the ER,in order for them to ease her pain.
moving back to jacksonville has put my life in perspective.
i need to be in a big city for a while.(NYC)
i need the girl i miss the most right beside me.
Theres nothing more important in this life than to have someone you love more than anything. a person you can do everything and nothing with. a best friend.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
|Halloween was a blast.|
it was fun seeing old faces.
printed a new design today
its my favorite shirt i've ever done.
i'm not revealing any designs until i've stockpiled and developed a site.
also noted i don't enjoy the fact that my best friend is mile and miles away from me.
but on a plus side i am not distracted by anything so i'm focused on work.
working to get my company rolling,working to see her again, working to get out of florida.
and 2009 will be a better year.
08 fucking sucked.
paycheck is coming this week.
i need to trim my stache.
its OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
|i don't feel like i belong anywhere right now.|
i feel like an inconvience to anyone that might posibly give me a ride to hang out.
its funny because i drove everyone around for years.
but noone calls...or messages.
the only love i feel is from my friends in chicago.
who still talk to me.(some of them)
perhaps i''m feeling sorry for myself.
i have a lump on the side of my head that feels like a bruise.
but i havent hit my head.
not everyday can feel like a bright and promising one.
i'll just go to bed early and sleep this one away.
the press works splendid.
thats a highlight.
theres plenty to do this week for halloween.
should be fun?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
i feel confident that next year will be the best year so far.
I made four screens today
the press should be here tomorrow.
ready to get this ball rolling.
i have to reopen a bank account tomorrow.
and then get a site to sell my stuff from.
i need a sewing machine.
list of needs:
Job(call me WFM)
SHIRTS SHIRTS SHIRTS!!!!
people who are interested in my art
time to jerk it and go to bed.
Friday, October 24, 2008
|anticipation, waiting for the call.|
i need this .
life is a series of hurry up and waits
discouragement has been displaced.
anxiety still slight
depression not so much.
i'm confident that i can get myself together in six months.
things will be different next time.
i cant help but be slightly excited.
building towards a new life.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
|Remember the time i was insane.|
and i don't mean emokid "oh i'm crazy and depressed boohoo"
i mean i'm fucking crazy.
like fucked in the head.
i'm bipolar as fuck
i should really check myself into a clinic.
but god damn it sure makes me creative as fuck.
i dropped 100 bucks today on printing supplies.
this is the real deal.
i'm serious. about moving and getting my shit together.
next time there should be white gold involved.
go to sleep.
|i love it when someone thinks they're the coolest and the best.|
it makes me dislike them.
i'm not going to fight for something that isn't mine.
what would be the point?
i'm arriving at the point where i'm glad i left chicago.
i did it to get away from being in a fucked up retarded situation.
i feel relief and burdens lifted.
i'm in no rush to be commited to anything.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
I sit and think non-stop
i got my last paycheck today.
its enough to start a printing barage.
i need a fucking bike,i feel rediculously lazy.
missing chicago more and more.
the people,the terrain,the bars and the routine.
you don't realize what you have until to give it all up.
God damn it.
i recite the same thing in my head "you did the right thing"
i need a drink. or six
a shot of whiskey and a beer would feel nice.
Tomorrow is the interview,it will make or brake my stay here in the butthole of america.
i'm excited for december.
although i hate the holidays.
time for television and mind numbing. six more cigarettes and bed time.
another adventure awaits me tomorrow.
You awake from a fucked up dream.
Looking around grabbing the phone by your bed.
"God damn it!!!"
"I hate to sleep late"
The last year of Life has been a blur.
A Fantastic Mind numbing blur.
A ghost still huants my dreams.
It seems like i'm never finished loving someone and then It Ends.
But i have a tendency to be insane and usually drive them away,or with my love of self sabotage i commit self love suicide.
i dreambt she killed herself last night.
it was horrible.
but then the dream turned out that it was only rumor that she killed herself
and i met her again in another city.
we fell in love and were complicated like we have always been.
that dream made me crazy.
so i wake up in a house in a city that i am all too familiar with. A wave of boredom and anxiety flood my brain. It is slowly subsided with a smoke and some fresh air.
why did i come back here?
to get my act together,to plan,to fuck,to live and to run away again.
i feel unlike i ever have before.i feel confident. ready to make my art alive.
never have i felt confident in my artistic ability until now. i give myself six months to stay here. then i will once again find a city to call home.