You awake from a fucked up dream.
Looking around grabbing the phone by your bed.
"God damn it!!!"
"I hate to sleep late"
The last year of Life has been a blur.
A Fantastic Mind numbing blur.
A ghost still huants my dreams.
It seems like i'm never finished loving someone and then It Ends.
But i have a tendency to be insane and usually drive them away,or with my love of self sabotage i commit self love suicide.
i dreambt she killed herself last night.
it was horrible.
but then the dream turned out that it was only rumor that she killed herself
and i met her again in another city.
we fell in love and were complicated like we have always been.
that dream made me crazy.
so i wake up in a house in a city that i am all too familiar with. A wave of boredom and anxiety flood my brain. It is slowly subsided with a smoke and some fresh air.
why did i come back here?
to get my act together,to plan,to fuck,to live and to run away again.
i feel unlike i ever have before.i feel confident. ready to make my art alive.
never have i felt confident in my artistic ability until now. i give myself six months to stay here. then i will once again find a city to call home.