October.

You awake from a fucked up dream. Looking around grabbing the phone by your bed. 11:45AM "God damn it!!!" "I hate to sleep late" The last year of Life has been a blur. A Fantastic Mind numbing blur. A ghost still huants my dreams. It seems like i'm never finished loving someone and then It Ends. But i have a tendency to be insane and usually drive them away,or with my love of self sabotage i commit self love suicide. i dreambt she killed herself last night. it was horrible. but then the dream turned out that it was only rumor that she killed herself and i met her again in another city. we fell in love and were complicated like we have always been. that dream made me crazy. so i wake up in a house in a city that i am all too familiar with. A wave of boredom and anxiety flood my brain. It is slowly subsided with a smoke and some fresh air. why did i come back here? to get my act together,to plan,to fuck,to live and to run away again. i feel unlike i ever have before.i feel confident. ready to make my art alive. never have i felt confident in my artistic ability until now. i give myself six months to stay here. then i will once again find a city to call home. soon enough. JT