Monday, October 20, 2008


You awake from a fucked up dream.
Looking around grabbing the phone by your bed.

"God damn it!!!"
"I hate to sleep late"

The last year of Life has been a blur.
A Fantastic Mind numbing blur.

A ghost still huants my dreams.
It seems like i'm never finished loving someone and then It Ends.

But i have a tendency to be insane and usually drive them away,or with my love of self sabotage i commit self love suicide.

i dreambt she killed herself last night.
it was horrible.
but then the dream turned out that it was only rumor that she killed herself
and i met her again in another city.
we fell in love and were complicated like we have always been.

that dream made me crazy.

so i wake up in a house in a city that i am all too familiar with. A wave of boredom and anxiety flood my brain. It is slowly subsided with a smoke and some fresh air.

why did i come back here?
to get my act together,to plan,to fuck,to live and to run away again.

i feel unlike i ever have before.i feel confident. ready to make my art alive.

never have i felt confident in my artistic ability until now. i give myself six months to stay here. then i will once again find a city to call home.


soon enough.


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